'If you wanted a proposal, you should’ve talked to me about it first': Girlfriend tells boyfriend she will plan something special for his birthday party, turns birthday into a marriage proposal

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Feb 22, 2025 8:00 PM EST

Everyone has a different way of celebrating their birthday. Some people go huge and have high expectations not only for their own event but for their loved one's commitment to them. Some people prefer a smaller celebration, and 'don't like to make a big deal about it.' Some people want lots of gifts, some people want no gifts. Some people want an intimate dinner, others want a huge blow out bash. Ultimately, though, birthdays are meant to be special, and everyone deserves to be celebrated in the way that they want.
 

When someone says that they are going to take the birthday planning off of your hands, it is the ultimate blessing. You trust that they'll make it into a night to remember, and you can't help but feel loved, seen, and heard. One man's girlfriend told him that she would do just that for his birthday, and he was over the moon. But in the middle of the party when the girlfriend's ulterior motives were revealed, this man didn't know what to think. So, read on, and decide whether this man has a deal-breaking situation on his hands or if his girlfriend's actions are something he can learn to forgive and forget.

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  • 01
    WILL YOU MARRY ME?
    via Gift Habeshaw
  • 02

    "AITA for Leaving My Own Birthday Dinner Because My Girlfriend Turned It Into a Proposal for Herself?"

    I (28M) had my birthday dinner last weekend, and my girlfriend, Sarah (27F), offered to plan it. I was excited because I usually keep things low-key, but she said she wanted to "make it special." She booked a nice restaurant and invited close friends and family.
    via ExtraSupermarket8858
  • 03

    Is this Punk'd? Where's Ashton Kutcher?!

    Everything was going great until it was time for dessert. The waiter brought out a cake, but instead of my name, it said: "Will You Marry Me, Sarah?"
    via ExtraSupermarket8858
  • 04
    I was completely blindsided. Sarah got all teary-eyed, turned to me, and said, "Well? This is the best surprise ever, right?" Everyone around us started clapping, and her friends were filming.
    via ExtraSupermarket8858
  • 05
    I just sat there, stunned. She took my silence as hesitation and started going on about how she knew I wasn't "big on grand gestures," but she couldn't wait anymore, so she "took matters into her own hands."
    via ExtraSupermarket8858
  • 06

    Mic drop!

    At that moment, I stood up and said, "This is my birthday. If you wanted a proposal, you should've talked to me about it first." Then I grabbed my stuff and walked out.
    via ExtraSupermarket8858
  • 07
    Sarah was mortified, and her friends blew up my phone, calling me an a hole for embarrassing her and "ruining the night." She even said I humiliated her when she was just trying to do something romantic.
    via ExtraSupermarket8858
  • 08
    Now, my family is split. Some say I should have just gone along with it for the night, while others think she crossed a major boundary.
    via ExtraSupermarket8858
  • 09
    So... AITA for leaving my own birthday dinner because my girlfriend hijacked it for a proposal?
    via ExtraSupermarket8858
  • 10

    People thought that this guy would be dodging a bullet by not marrying his girlfriend.

    101 A
    via Duncan Kidd
  • 11
    I guess the gift she gave you was to show you her true colors NTA, and you might be dodging a bullet there
    via ExtraSupermarket8858
  • 12
    She didn't just turn it into a proposal - she turned it into a proposal where she proposed to herself on your behalf! That is not rational behavior in the least. If she wanted to propose, she could've proposed to you - from/as herself, TO YOU.
    via ExtraSupermarket8858
  • 13
    But no - she wanted the public moment of her being proposed to and decided your birthday was the perfect time for her to give this to herself. She was "trying to do something romantic" - but you weren't the intended recipient. She was.
    via ExtraSupermarket8858
  • 14
    It was nice of her to show you what she values, because it definitely isn't you. You're a prop for her, and at least now you know that for sure.
    via ExtraSupermarket8858
  • 15
    NTA. Glad you didn't go. along with it. The cake could have said Will you marry me, YOUR NAME with her proposing to you which would have been cringeworthy as best. Instead she decided to make it all about her and put you on the spot. Please see her for who she really is. Not worthy of your time and attention.
    via ExtraSupermarket8858
  • 16
    This girl is nuts. Run away as fast as you can from the crazy!
    via ExtraSupermarket8858
  • 17
    NTA - so your family thinks you should just go along with this meaning you are - now engaged? what's wrong with them?
    via ExtraSupermarket8858
  • 18

    There's always going to be a doomsdayer.

    Good lord, how do people like this actually exist. Run for your life and be grateful she didn't decide to baby trap you first. Absolutely NTA
    via ExtraSupermarket8858

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Dating-Relationships aita marriage birthday reddit story proposal relationships reddit thread Reddit relationship drama
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